I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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