yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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