would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
