Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize