Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
