And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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