He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
