from now on my penis is your penis
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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