Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
