Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
