Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
