I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
