I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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