The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
