So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sobbing to NWA
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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