NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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