Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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