Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
