you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
