mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
