Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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