My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
