That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So much rum. So many feels.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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