Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
there is puke in my bra ... again
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