He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
