My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize