Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
