it wasn't lemon gatorade
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
