he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
