I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You pole danced in your parka.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
