I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
