dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
