Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
