This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
These tits shall not be calmed
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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