then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
