My friends, they love my intelligence
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
