didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
wanna go halves on a baby?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
