He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
