haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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