You just made me feel so damn special
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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