I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
