that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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