I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize