I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
