another moral hangover. fuck.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
