I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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