I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
