I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
