I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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