how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
