Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
