I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I skipped work to stalk him.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
