i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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