69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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