To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
