It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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