you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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