So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
