he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
