I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize