Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
