i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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