I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
