and she was petting her beer can
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
