I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
