I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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