i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
