if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm like, not good at living.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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