Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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