We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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