I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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