i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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