I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
