I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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