the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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