I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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