Kiss
Puke
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize