Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize