I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
